All praise and adoration be unto Allaah SWT, the Lord of all that exist. Then I beseech His utmost grace and blessings upon the noblest of mankind,our leader, mercy to the whole world, Muhammad BN Abdillaah Abul Qaasim, his household,his companions and all those that follow his path till the day of accountability.
This will be discussing an important issue of Marriage, when it becomes the opposite of what it is meant.
Marriage which ought to be a means of love,mercy, happiness and tranquility between the spouses turn out to be the opposite.
Abusive is when something is extremely offensive and insulting. It can also be engaged in or characterised by habitual violence and cruelty. It also involves physical violence and emotional cruelty.
While Marriage is known to be a union between two individuals ( male and female) from two different families coming to become spouses i.e husband and wife sharing love, mercy, secret, joy, happiness,sorrow, and the like together till eternity. It can also be said to be a religious duty, a moral safeguard and a social commitment. It is a fundamental building block of life.
Marriage is a religious duty due to the fact that the prophet SAW said;”Marriage is half of the faith, he who marry should known that it is left to him the other half of faith”.
Checking through the definitions given above, we can now easily deduce and discuss marriage when it turns abusive.
When the purpose of Marriage, which is for love, care, happiness, joy, mercy and tranquility is found to be absent but instead fill with hatred, cruelty, physical and emotional violence, maltreatment and use of bad word. It could be caused by lack of understanding, forced marriage, marriage without love and mercy, unnecessary suspicion about one’s spouse.
Abusive Marriage can be avoided by carefully choosing one’s partner, choosing an individual one is compatible with, there must be love between them, it must not be a forced marriage, it must be at their own will.
However, there are various other ways to avoid abusive marriage, which is an advice or a prescription from the holy prophet SAW, he said;” a woman is married for four things; her wealth,family, beauty and her religiousness but choose the one with the Deen ( religion) for you to be successful”.
He also said in another narration that:” if a man marries a woman for her wealth; he will be left to himself, if he marries her for her beauty, he will find in her what he dislike but he marries her for her religiousness he will find all that in her”.
If at all, a marriage want to turn sour at its peak, divorce is prescribed, though it is halaal ( permitted) but it is also an hateful deed in the sight of Allaah, that is why careful and cautious choice of spouse is required and necessary though advice can be seek. Divorce will be an option to opt to if a marriage want to be abusive and this is even up to three times but remember it is an hateful deed.
Therefore, we can avoid abusive marriages by being faithful, trustworthy, loving, caring, merciful and understanding to our spouses, it is very important for a lifelong Marriage.
But above it all, being prayerful and having piety for God (Allaah) is indeed an important tool for an healthy and long lasting marriage.
May Allaah bless all union, and may He put Abundant blessings, mercies and love between them.
For all yet to marry, may Allaah grant us all, spouses that will be coolness of our eyes, friends in this world and the hereafter, Aameen.
AsSaalimiy Aboo’Abdillaah
Abdussalaam Alimi.
